A situation that "worries" many parents is what to do when the child tends to appropriate other children's toys. It is a situation that tends to occur quite frequently and tends to worry (and bother) parents, but you have to be calm as it is quite normal in children.
It is important to know why they act this way in order to act and correct these behaviors appropriately. We tell you what the causes may be that a child only wants what others have and we give you some advice on how to educate children who take everything from others.
Something that characterizes the development of the little ones, up to 3-4 years old, it is egocentric thinking. Children at a certain age see the world and interpret it from their own point of view, it is difficult for them to put themselves in the other's shoes, to understand others ... something that is reflected in many aspects of the child's development, such as it can be language and play.
As for the child's play, evolves parallel to development in other areas, (cognitive, social ...) moving from an initial game alone or in parallel to more "social" forms of play. Young children play alone, or at most in parallel with other children, but there is no shared game as such. Up to 4 years we can differences between:
- Individual game. Before two years, he does not take others into account.
- Parallel play. It is a type of game in which children play together, but there is no relationship between them. They are observed and imitated but they do not interact. It is common between 2 and 4 years.
For all this it is normal that in these ages, 3-4 years, Situations may arise where children take their toys away from others in the park, at home or in the classroom. And it is very important that parents and adults who interact with the child, know how to act.
Some parents choose to have the children themselves "solve" the problem, but it is difficult for 3-4 year olds to do it properly. The conflict usually ends with a little one crying Or by undesirably snatching the usurped toy from the other child. Other parents may choose to scold and punish the child without their toys. Or with a talk about the importance of sharing toys with other children, and how the other child may feel.
The child who takes everything from others is not a "bad" child. Nor does it have to have any problem, but it is important to know how to manage these situations so that it learns little by little how to act. Normally, the child who takes something from another is simply because he has seen something that he likes and wants to have it. He does not take into account if it is from another child or how he is going to feel, he just wants it and wants it now. There are no dark intentions behind.
[Read +: Story for children who take what is not theirs]
In these situations, how can we act?
1. At this point, limits are important. Make clear to the child what he can and cannot do, and teach him the proper way to act. Setting limits and not granting all his wishes is important, in this way the child understands that he cannot have everything he wants and desires, that there are things that he cannot have.
2. Something we must avoid is scolding the child excessively. If when you take a toy, (or any object, food, etc ...) from another child, I scold him and show me excessively angry, the child may react with more anger and frustration and we already enter the field of "tantrum" . We can go over and calmly tell the little one that we can't take the toys away and give it back to the other child. If the child becomes angry and enraged, we can "take" him out of the game for a moment with us, and simply tell him to ask for things. Remember that long talks are of little use to young children. If, on the contrary, the child reacts well, we will reinforce him and make him see that we like his behavior.
3. An action that is not advisable is "overcompensate" the child. For example, a child is eating a candy and my son hurts and takes it away. We give it back to the other boy, but to avoid the "drama" I buy him another. We are teaching the child to get what he wants in an inappropriate way and he does not learn to handle frustration.
4. It is important too teach him how we should act when I want something that another child has, teach him to share, to play with other children, and I can even act as a model and mediator. Little by little they will learn on their own.
In short it is to correct the child from understanding of the evolutionary moment in which he is, setting limits and establishing certain norms of relationship with his peers.
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