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Facing death is a difficult process, although it is even worse when we have children and we have to make decisions about it. Will he say goodbye to him or not? Will he get over it? Doubts that we have to answer in a short period of time and that will undoubtedly affect the process of grief in children being carried out in a more positive way or another.
In this sense, parents are faced with the dilemma of take the child to the funeral and burial of a loved one, What is the most suitable?
Grief refers to the pain we feel when we lose something or someone, be it a close person or a pet, a relationship with someone we cared about or even a part of our body. So it can be said that, in life, we make small duels for many things that happen around us.
In general, we are more prepared for the good and happiness, when in reality pain is also part of life and avoiding it will not help us. Children are often more confused and need more strategies when it comes to coping with loss and sadness. so this should be one of the points that you should consider in the education of your children.
The first step in getting over a loss is accepting that the person has died. Elaborating that grief is a different process for each person and depends on many factors such as the age of the person or the type of relationship they had (if it is a grandparent who is understood to be older or a little brother) and requires time to assimilate. .
If you want to facilitate this entire grieving process, it is important that you do not make 4 fundamental mistakes:
- Do not leave him out because he could feel alone and abandoned. Instead, ask that child about his doubts and how he wants to live it (if he can already have a dialogue with you). There are people who believe that children should not be brought to the funeral or burial of a loved one, however, this ritual can help you better accept the loss and feel supported.
- Offers answers adapted to their age to any doubts they may have, no lying to them. Depending on their age, they may not understand what a funeral is, however, it is important to give them a minimal explanation of what is done there and that they participate as much as they want. There are those who think that if they do not go they protect them from suffering, but in reality they overcome it more easily if we include them as much as possible in the whole process and talk about it openly with them.
- Respect their rhythms and do not force him to overcome it in a certain way or decide for him how he should live it or what he should feel. Sometimes you try to protect your child when in reality he already knows or suspects that something bad is happening, so it is better to inform him about some of the main steps that are followed in these cases and if he wants to attend the funeral, you should allow him to go .
In the same way that if they don't want to, you should allow it too. There are those who need only a few days and those who take several years to overcome a loss.
- Show your feelings, you are not a robot. Many adults think that being sad or even crying in front of your children is a negative thing. However, they must also understand that sadness is an emotion that is important to feel like the rest. Depending on how you live it, they will.
Feeling and talking about it is not bad and it will allow you to know how they are living it, it will unite you as a family and you will show them that at home you can talk about any topic.
You can read more articles similar to The dilemma of taking the child to the funeral and burial of a loved one, in the Death in Place category.