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Why You Shouldn't Ignore Sibling Jealousy


Jealousy, by definition, is an emotional state characterized by a feeling of frustration, believing that we are not reciprocated emotionally by loved ones or with the same frequency or intensity that we want or need.

In childhood there are different types, one of the most common are jealousy between brothers, and more specifically, the jealousy that appears with the arrival of a new brother or sister, known as "fluff". Many parents prefer to wait for this stage to pass, but it is best not to ignore the existence of this feeling.

The "fluff" is nothing more than a child protection system that he claims to maintain the same attention that he had before, and that now he has to share with his brother. In a way it is normal that it exists, and it is even good for a child to claim its place and attention, if it did not do so, we would have to be vigilant.

The problem comes, when the jealousy response is exaggerated and prolonged and it affects habitual family development. It is in this case that we must pay our attention.

In children with jealousy, the response can be varied and generally depends on the developmental state of the child. They usually appear in different behaviors:

- With envy and resentment before the new brother whom he perceives as a rival.

- With sadness and feeling of abandonment.

- With regressive behaviors, that is, infantile behaviors of imitation of the little brother.

It is very important to be aware of the child, after all jealousy is a manifestation of the feelings that they have in an exaggerated way because they have not learned, nor do they have emotional tools to express it in another way. We must pay proper attention to them, without giving them all the whims or monitoring them continuously, since they can get to take advantage of the situation. A hug is always much better than a toy.

These are some of the signs that a child is jealous. You should stay tuned for them, as they give you clues about what your child is feeling.

1. There are signs of unhappiness or sadness. The child may say that they do not feel loved and / or have unjustified crying.

2. Has humor changes without reason.

3. Appear new behaviors to attract attention (peeing on the bed, loss of appetite, aggressiveness, etc.)

4. Go back to a child's language.

5. Eating and sleeping patterns are altered.

6. Feel negativism, stubbornness or difficulty obeying

7. Denies own mistakes and blames others, generally the brother.

It is important to know that we cannot avoid jealousy and that each child manifests it differently. Therefore, the first and most important thing is NOT to blame ourselves. Jealousy appears and is part of the child's maturation process; just as they arrive, they leave.

We can implement a series of measures to minimize the impact and make it more bearable for the whole family:

- Establish a balance in the treatment of siblings so that let's remove preferences and, above all, DO NOT COMPARE.

- When you have to call attention to some behavior, always do so by marking the positives.

- Increase family leisure time to improve communication.

- You cannot reason with a jealous or enraged child, it is better to leave him alone. Once calmed down, talk to the child from a calm and firm position. Stay calm, it is just a symptom of their discomfort.

- Invite the older brother to participate in the care or attention of the little one and make him see how important his help is.

The relationship between siblings has its own development and evolution. If we maintain a stable and calm family climate, jealousy will be overcome in a gradual way without causing emotional damage to any member of the family.

You can read more articles similar to Why You Shouldn't Ignore Sibling Jealousy, in the category of Jealousy on site.


Video: 7 Types of Child Behavior You Shouldnt Ignore (January 2022).