We talk a lot about the important role that friends, cousins, grandparents and, of course, parents have in the education of children. But what about guys? They also fulfill an essential role for the smallest of the family. An unforgettable relationship can be created between aunts and nephews that contributes a lot to the learning and self-esteem of your children.
But how to achieve this special bond? Why can uncles contribute so much to their nephews? To understand it a little better, we have spoken with Elena, an aunt in love with her nephew Guille who, based on her experience as aunt, has created a blog called Con Mi Madrina. She herself describes the day her nephew was born as the biggest turnaround of her life; the beginning of a unique relationship, which she never thought would become so special.
It is easy to see that the relationship between uncles and their nephews can become very special. But why? Why is this chemistry so obvious? Elena herself, even though she is an aunt, admits that it is a very difficult relationship to explain. Something like the perfect mix between siblings, father-son, friends... It is a different bond, which does not occur with other people in the family and that, although the age difference between uncle and nephew is important, it is not an impediment.
Perhaps the key behind this link is the complicity established between the two; a type of attachment that is different from what children have with their parents. And it is that, although they are the first reference of the little ones, the fact that between uncles and nephews there is no that same authority figure, drives and strengthens a different relationship.
Thanks to this relationship, their role is reinforced within the family. Aunts are constituted as that figure that children have no qualms about going when they have a problem; the one that never tires of playing with them; the one that also guides them along the way, etc.
[Read +: A poetry dedicated to the aunts]
Given how much the relationship with their uncles brings to children, we are left to solve the most important question: how can we be 'good uncles' for children? Elena, Guille's aunt, has given us some of the keys on which this bond should be sustained.
1. Involvement and fun
There may be no magic formula for boys and uncles to get along. But the ingredients that can never be lacking in this relationship is involvement and fun; involvement in the upbringing and education of the little ones and having fun by sharing leisure time and entertaining plans together.
2. Do not consent, but enjoy the child
Sometimes, we tend to think that the best way to win the affection of children is by spoiling them and giving them everything they want (often, this means contradicting parents and offering them what they have denied). However, the aunts do not have to consent, but rather join the educational method that the parents have chosen for the little one. A better way to win the love of your little one is to build memories together that are unforgettable.
3. Be in the child's life
We cannot pretend to have a solid uncle-nephew relationship if we are not present in the children's daily lives. And this presence cannot be forced or forced for any of the parties, it must be worked from the naturalness of everyday life. Knowing that you are going to have an important exam and asking how it went; know the name of your best friends; knowing what their favorite subjects are at school ... And, of course, also proposing plans together.
4. We have to become children again
Part of the formula for success to make this family bond unique is to bring out that inner child that we all carry within. Get on the swings with the children, play with the sand on the beach, organize a race in the park ... Enjoy adult life from the innocence of children.
5. Promote communication
One of the things that the children of their aunts and uncles value most is knowing that they can tell them anything and that they will always reach out to help them. For this reason, it is important that the uncles are able to create a suitable climate of trust so that the little one knows that he can go to them when he needs it. Sometimes the child may feel more comfortable or less embarrassed talking about certain things with his uncles rather than with his parents. Although Elena emphasizes that we cannot stop encouraging the little one to also have fluid communication with their parents.
6. Be aware that we are a benchmark for children
As with parents, aunts are also a reference for children. And, therefore, we cannot ignore that this represents a responsibility. As Elena herself explains, 'Although sometimes we forget, we are the adult part. Despite proposing games, you can never forget that you are the adult and mature figure, that you have to act responsibly. '
7. Correct the child when necessary
This commitment that we uncles acquire with the education of children means that they also have to correct children in case they have inappropriate behavior. Out of respect and affection, the uncles must explain to the children why this attitude is not right so that they do not repeat it again.
8. Make the child feel special
'Affinity with your nephew is the same as with anyone. There will be people who you get along better or worse. But the illusion of making plans together, that the children notice. They feel very protagonists, highly valued when an adult listens to them and wants to play with them, 'explains Elena. In addition to strengthening the relationship between the two, you will be able to reinforce the child's self-esteem.
9. Come up with plans together and spend a lot of time together
Finally, there is no better way to create a good relationship between the two of you than having fun together. It is not necessary to spend millions taking the little ones to the amusement park or buying them great gifts. Sometimes the happiest memories are related to much simpler things. Therefore, your plans do not have to involve a great expense. You can go on field trips, play in the park, invent fun games together, do crafts ...
And how will we know if we have managed to build a relationship between aunt and nephew that will be unforgettable for both of us? For Elena, this is the key: 'My hope is that when Guille is an adult, he will have memories together and experiences together, that when he is an older person he will say what a good time I had with my aunt and how many things we have done together. '
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